Priorities

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Sometimes, you need to realize where your priorities lie. What the most important things in your life are and where you should be spending your time.

Sometimes, we might not always be happy with those priorities. I, for one, would much rather relax with Netflix or a good book at night, rather than do the laundry or dishes. But it doesn’t really matter what I want. As a mother, you realize that, regardless of your personal wants, taking care of your family is always one of your highest priorities.

“Your religion, your family, and the Green Bay Packers will be your priorities as long as you are here! And in that order!” – Vince Lombardi

Now you may or may not agree on that last part, but you have to give the man some credit for getting the first two right.

For me, school comes right after family. It’s always been this way. My family comes first, but school is close behind. Despite my personal want to write daily and have a beautiful blog, it can only happen when I first take care of God, my family, and my schoolwork.

I just finished up an intense two weeks of midterm papers, tests, and assignments. While that big push is over, I know that November won’t slow down much. December is out of the question. But I’m OK with that. I like my busy life.

I’m looking forward to keeping up with posting. I would say “catching up”, but I really don’t feel like having a mentality where I need to compensate for the two weeks I didn’t write. I’ve got enough going on, so I think I’ll just start fresh.

I’ve got some great ideas brewing, and I can’t wait to share them. Just keep me in your thoughts and prayers, that I keep my priorities in order, and accomplish what needs to be accomplished.

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What are your priorities? Do you ever have trouble keeping them straight? Packers or Vikings or Other?

 

It’s Not Easy

 

It’s not easy to explain it to him.

It’s not easy for him to understand.

Sometimes, even I don’t understand.

Then I remind myself, it’s all for him.

 

The decision to get up every morning, sometimes leaving before he’s awake, it’s all for him

Making a schedule that allows me to go to school, work two jobs, keep my body healthy with exercise, my soul healthy with prayer, and my grades healthy with studying, even if it means sometimes I’m coming home after he’s asleep, it’s all for him.

 

Being a full-time student is non-negotiable. Working is non-negotiable. But I’m also a mom. Where does that fit in? Sometimes, I just don’t see how it does.

Sometimes, I feel like this lifestyle was designed to tear my heart in two. Make me doubt my decisions.

Make me question my worth as a mother.

Am I doing the right thing? Is this really what’s best?

 

When I think about it one day at a time, sometimes, it’s just not. How can I justify letting someone else watch him, letting someone else take care of my son? Surely, homework and studying are not as important as spending every minute with him.

 

But sometimes, it is.

 

I’m going to school to earn a degree that will help me advance in life. That advancement will help me support our family. I’m working to help support us in the present. Toys, clothes, and preschool fees aren’t cheap. 

Thinking about it as just another chapter, and hopefully a short one, helps me to see what this is really all about. Why I’m really doing these things that I feel like I can’t justify.

 

It’s not easy to tell him I’m leaving when he’s upset and “Why don’t you want to stay with me, mommy?”

It’s not easy, but it’s something I need to do.

I focus on the quality of our time, not the quantity. We both love our time together, and we cherish it.

Someday, I hope he’ll understand why I couldn’t always be there.

 

Making Time & Making Excuses

In life, I usually do what I want to do.

Let me explain.

There are certain things that I like to do. These things are prioritized, have time made for them, and are accomplished.

There are other things that I do not like to do. These things are pushed to the bottom of my to-do list, put off and procrastinated, until one of two things happens: I have to suck it up and do it (often last minute and hurriedly), or I’ve put them off so long that eventually they are obsolete and no longer need to be done.

I always have the same number of hours in the day. When it is something I want to do, I have all the time in the world. But when it’s something I don’t want to do, suddenly there’s no time to spare.

After working a full day, I’m exhausted. Sometimes too tired to take my son to the park. Rarely too tired to go to the gym after he’s asleep. There I go – making time for what I want to do, making excuses for what I don’t want to do.

These are things I’m working on improving – more time, less excuses.

Well, not literally making more time – we don’t bend the laws of physics around here – but making more time in my routine or schedule, even for the things I don’t want to do.

Being honest with myself is usually the only way I can bring myself to make time for the things that I don’t want to do. Yes, I’d much rather sit in the air-conditioned house and play Legos than go to the park and run around, especially when it’s hot and buggy.

But is that really the kind of mother I want to be?

No.

I want my son to remember me going to the park, even when I came home from work tired. I want him to get outside. I want him to swing on the monkey bars and slide down the slides. I want him to remember that, when it comes to him, I have nothing but time.

 

Do you ever have trouble bringing yourself to do what you really don’t want to do? How do you deal with it?